So for those of you who have not seen or talked to me in the last 48 hours, I have developed one of the weirdest conditions I have ever heard of. Weird as in the receptionist at Urgent Care and the nurse who saw me both started laughing after I told them what was happening to me.
For some reason from the moment I woke up yesterday to this very moment, approximately 40 hours later, I have been burping. Not like oh, it happens for 10 minutes and then goes away, but more like in the last 5 minutes or so that it has taken me to write these first two paragraphs I have burped approximately 60 times.
I know, I know, I must be exagerrating. Well my friends, as anyone who has seen me in the last two days can tell you, I am not. It is outrageous and the doctor was like so what are your other symptoms? And I said, none, I just keep burping, and she looked at me for a while and then said well, I don't know. So she gave me a list of suggestions to follow, (none of which have worked quite yet).
Included in this list was "avoid dairy, because it may be related to lactose intolerance." This to me was quite possibly the worst diagnosis I could have received because I love dairy, in a yogurt every morning and cheese at every meal kind of way, so this is my list of the foods I will miss most if I am in fact lactose intolerant.
1. Reed's Pizza. Quite possibly one
of my favorite meals, it consists of dough, his family's homemade sauce recipe and unfortunately for me a whole bunch of cheese. I am heartbroken. Really this applies to all pizza, but today I really really really wanted this pizza until Reed so kindly reminded me that I was told to avoid dairy and it probably wasn't a good idea for me to eat this right now, also he is probably hoping that they find a cure just as much as I do so that I will stop complaining to him about it.2. Cheesecake Ice Cream. I will give you a second to take that all in, cheesecake and soft-serve ice cream all in one? Um yes it's delicious, and if it had more nutritional value I could eat it every day for the rest of my life. Luckily that temptation is gone, at least until next summer, but while we're on the subject we'll just throw cream cheese and cheese cake into this category.
3. Peppermint Mochas, and other milk based espresso drinks. I can't stress enough how much I love these babies. Like really I can't go a day without thinking about one, or at the very least putting flavored creamer in my coffee every morning. I will miss my coffee/milk drinks terribly. Looks like it's strictly non-dairy creamer and soy milk for this girl.
4. Macaroni and Cheese. Like Kel loves orange
soda, I love Macaroni and Cheese. Particularly when it's homemade, or made at Fat Bobs. (That is an actual picture of their delicious mac and cheese) I love it, I love it I doooooo.5. Cheeseburgers. Like a night without stars a burger without out cheese is just bland. I don't know if I can actually get around this one. I might just have to cut hamburgers from my diet too, or maybe just take a whole bunch of lactaid.
So those are my top 5, and in the interest of me getting to bed on time, (although I doubt I will sleep because the doctor told me I should try to sleep sitting up) I will spare you the rest of my list (for now at least). Sleep tight everyone, I promise I will keep you posted on my "condition" and if all else fails maybe I'll get my own reality show out of this. Just think I could be the next medical mystery series on TLC. (I am currently accepting nominations for show titles.)
